Spice Girls Reunion: Who needs it more?

It’s happened: Sporty, Baby, Scary, Ginger – and finally, Posh – have agreed to celebrate their 21 year Spice legacy with a reunion. Whether it’s a full blown tour or just a cash-in greatest hits repackage (please, god, no) is yet to be unveiled. Whether Victoria will sing or merely point; we can only speculate. But while the world rejoices the chance to don platform shoes and flag dresses over here at POPitics we are more concerned with why. So, we Stop (right now, thank you very much) to consider who needs a reunion the most

Victoria Beckham

Long considered the hold up of any reunion, Victoria Beckham (financially, at least) has always been considered the most successful Spice Girl. She is the only one to have truly escaped her moniker and is known more as “Davids wife” than “Posh Spice”. Anyone who saw the sheer terror on her face at the 2012 Olympics, the last time they performed together on stage, as she clung to a metal bar whilst straddling the top of a taxi would understand why.

After her solo music career never truly took off (she is the only spice girl not to have a solo number one #JusticeForLetYourHeadGo) she fought hard to carve a career as an award winning fashion designer, via time as the original WAG (teaching Cheryl Cole everything she knows), a briefer stint than Kelly Brook as a TV judge (American Idol) and an ill conceived, though truly hilarious, reality TV show (The Beckhams: Coming to America).

The Beckham ship has sailed pretty smoothly through the last decade (after passing the Rebecca Loos iceberg) but recently there have been reports of woes for her fashion label. DB Ventures posted an 8.4 million loss in 2017, despite a large cash injection.

Naysayers will claim she’s desperate and going back in for the cash but having just launched a second make up collection with Estee Lauder last year, opening a flapship store and finally gaining her OBE she’s not short of things to do. The Beckhams have a combined net worth of $450 million; so even if they lost a $100 million on poor investments they wouldn’t be short of a dollar.

Basically, you don’t have to worry about lending Vic a fiver. She doesn’t need a reunion and would have taken the most convincing. Having said that, she lives with 4 boys and just one girl (who doesn’t know mummy was a pop star). Those heels don’t look too well prepared for being in goal so she probably can’t wait to trade the pitch for a make-up counter with her pals.

Ranking: 2/10 – Don’t Need it Spice

Melanie C

Another reunion surprise, as recently as January, Sporty said that any further performances would struggle to reach the heights of that Olympic 2012 closer.

As for solo singing, Melanie turned down the infamous “GEM” to release her electro-fused Version of Me album, supporting it with a 14 date UK tour and further dates in Europe and Asia. She took it to the dizzying heights of the No.2 spot (ok, Indie charts, but an incredible feat in the streaming era) and even higher outside of Europe (she’s a big deal in Brazil) comfortably recouping costs.

Her last 5 releases have been via her own record label, giving her complete creative control and better returns. With a core fanbase and new musical direction she is seeing some of her best critical and commercial reviews since the Northern Star days. Balancing this with motherhood, commended musical theatre appearances (2 nomination in Jesus Christ Superstar) and presumably profitable judging roles in Asia you’d think Melanies plate was full.

Ranking: 3/10 – You Better Make It Good Spice

Emma Bunton

The last Spice Girl to lose her record deal, releasing three albums of her 60s-infused music before being dropped by Universal in 2007 (the same year she had her first baby and the Spices reunited, so doubt she was that bothered).

Since then, Emma has carved herself a comfortable career as a radio DJ with Heart, co-hosting the breakfast show with Jamie Theakston and earning a new Sunday night show just this year. They obviously love her at the station, as they granted her time off last year to be a host on American music competition, Boyband. The highlight of which came when she sang Say You’ll Be There alongside Nick Carter (watch the first 15 seconds of Rita Ora awkwardly stumbling her way through a Timbaland duet).

She also seems to be having a lovely time making guest appearances in everything from Drunk History to Absolutely Fabulous and running her own eco-friendly nappy business, Kit & Kin. She may not be the richest of the gang, but she’s certainly super chill.

But hasn’t baby always been the best friend of the group. Rarely a cross word to say in the media (shadiest moment was TV show Big Reunion describing her as ‘Spice Girls Lead Singer’), always the first to tag in for a duet (I know him so well, anyone), she’s that one friend you can always really on to turn up to the party. Just for sheer love of the girls, Emma would never hold up a reunion.

Ranking: 4/10 – Do It For The Love Spice

Mel B

Things may have looked pretty bleak for Scary after being dropped from Virgin in 2002 but her career has stepped up since placing second on Dancing With The Stars in 2007. Sure, she’s appeared in some dodgy movies (Seatfiller with Kelly Rowland, anyone?) and released some even dodgier solo material (as recently as 2013’s For Once In My Life) but she has actually carved herself a decent TV career, especially on the other side of the Atlantic, thanks to a 5 year stint as a judge on Americas Got Talent (she’s their Amanda Holden).

Globally, she’s appeared as a principal judge on TWELVE seasons worth of panel shows; including X Factor Australia and UK. Reportedly earning herself £2.2 million for the latest season AGT, that’s more than enough to cover those frequent airmiles in first class and still feed her 4 children.

Having said that, she has just endured an expensive and reputation damaging divorce battle with husband Stephen Belafonte set to cost her £6.5 million. With the Spice reunion rumoured to be pitched at £10million a piece she could earn enough to cover that and still have change for all the new hairstyles she’s been sporting recently.

Mel B has always loved the stage and performing. Outside of the girls, she hasn’t achieved anything musically since her debut album Hot under performed. She’s constantly doing the rounds on talk shows saying she wants the girls back together. She wants it more, but no one needs it more than…

Ranking: 6/10 – I’ll Show Him Spice

Geri Halliwell

Ginger, Ginger, Ginger. May she rest in peace (she’s not dead, but she might as well be for all the good her career is doing her now). Geri Halliwell (I know its Horner now but she’ll always be Halliwell to us) was the instigator in the split and left a lot of bad blood to be cleared up before the 2007 reunion. She went on to high success; 15 million record sales, 4 Brit Nominations and a Guinness World Record for most no.1 for a British Female Solo Artist. Never let anyone tell you you’re not good enough, kids, Ginger Spice was the Goodwill Ambassador for the UN. No. Jokes.

Then, in 2005, despite riding a horse through Soho, her album Passion failed to crawl into the Top 40 (not even the gays would buy it) and she’s been in celebrity purgatory ever since.

Sure, she has had stints as a talent judge (obviously, its what all good Spice Girls do), tried to launch a sitcom, and had a fair bit of success as a kids author but nothing has really stuck. She’s frequently tried musical comebacks including a leaked country album, OZ only single Other Half of Me (reaching the dizzying heights of 281) and the George Michael tribute Angels in Chains charity single that failed to crack the UK top 50.

The past few years have seen her try presenting with This Morning, Geris 90s, and her current position buried within 99 other judges on All Together Now. She doesn’t really do much and no one knows her actual role on the show but they refer to her a LOT.

Yes, she married a formula one driver in 2014, so money wise she is fine, but our girl loves the stage. The reunion was held at her house for a reason: Geri made this happen.

Ranking: 10/10 – Remain Relevant Spice

Simon Fuller/19 Management

The manager mogul who guided the Spice Girls through the peak of their fame until 1999 when they ditched him, just before the release of SpiceWorld: The Movie and embarked on their world tour. Brave move; Stupid move. Simon hit back, obviously. He built S Club 7 as a retaliation and cashed in through TV shows, product endorsement and worldwide tours. If only Tina had the business savvy of VB and maybe the S Clubbers would have made a little more money.

Since then he hasn’t struggled to deliver. Musically, he managed Annie Lenox, Amy Winehouse and Cathy Dennis, who has written pretty much everything, including Toxic and Can’t Get You Out of My Head. (It should never have beaten Out of Your Mind to number one).

Maintaining a strong relationship with the Beckhams he has branched into sports management negotiating the careers of Andy Murray and Lewis Hamilton. He also created Pop Idol, which would go on to become American Idol, which was the biggest show in America for 8 consecutive years. In short, man done good. He doesn’t need this.

Ranking: 1/10 – Lead My Legacy Spice

The Fans

The band took hiatus in 2000. The last reunion was a decade ago. The musical, Viva Forever, (produced by Judy Cramer and written by Jennifer Saunders) burned bright for 6 months in 2012, before burning out even brighter due to poor ticket sales and even poorer reviews. They even gave us that spectacular Olympics performance. But, like Friends reunion rumours, we still keep wanting more.

But what we want is good more. They haven’t released new music since 2007 so a repackaged Greatest Hits Album would be nothing short of a money grabbing insult. Victoria has ruled out live singing and, with their last cut short due to family commitments, a tour seems out of the question. The biggest option seems these “other ventures”. A reality show looking for the next big girl band would work given their judging history, but would it be needed in this saturated talent show market? A film telling their story would have appeal but would need to give more than 3 documentaries and countless interviews we’ve already had.

Whatever the outcome the hunger is there for Spice Girls but they’ll need something really good to recreate anything like the SpiceMania of the late 90s. Either way, I’ll be buying it.